The Fool: Trusting the Universe & Taking Chances

THE FOOL GOVERNS: Beginner's mind; naiveté; lack of fear; adventures, hiking, rock climbing; leaping without looking; the beginning of a cycle; a child's natural confidence, before they unlearn it; packing only what you need; a blank slate.

My Fool Story

The summer before I started high school, and a mere three years since I had been briefly taken out of school due to a mental health crisis, I climbed onto a plane bound for Tokyo, leaving my family behind. I was fourteen years old and afflicted with a serious case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which I had managed to get a handle on with the help of medication, therapy, and a whole lot of willpower. And yet, there I was, leaving behind everything that felt familiar and safe. A host family was waiting for me halfway around the world, and for the next month I would integrate into their household.

Did I speak Japanese? Just a few words.

Had I ever traveled without my family before? Not unless you count a couple of weeks at summer camp an hour away from my house.

Did I understand the enormity of what I was doing? I highly doubt it.

But I was determined to take control of my own existence. I didn't want to be beholden to my mental illness for the rest of my life, and I wasn't content to stay within my comfort zone. I wanted the whole damn world, every inch of it, and I wanted it now. So I made it happen. I saved and borrowed money, attended meetings, and convinced my parents that this was something I was ready to do. And then, all at once, I was in Tokyo.

It was a blur of new foods, a new language, new faces, new experiences, new clothes…and while there were definitely some rough patches, I was enthralled. Never had I felt so much myself as when I was traveling, exploring, immersing myself in another culture. Looking back, I realize that I was embodying the Fool that summer.

What's the Deal with the Fool?

The Fool is the first card in the Major Arcana, though it boasts the number zero. It represents the beginning of a new cycle, and often features a figure about to walk cheerily off a cliff. In Pamela Colman Smith's rendition (pictured below), the Fool is carrying a bindle and is accompanied by a joyful pup. The sun shines down on them, and the card is bathed in golden light. I find this card exciting, but it can certainly present challenges. After all, the Fool has no idea what is at the bottom of that cliff, or how long the fall will be.

Each card in the Tarot has a personality—as a synesthete, I experience these personalities vividly—and the Fool exudes youthfulness. They have a beginner's mind, much like that of a child. This is a gift, as it means that the Fool has not yet unlearned their natural confidence, but it's also a curse because they haven't learned caution. The Fool doesn't know fear, and therefore I can't call them brave—bravery requires a certain degree of fear. But they are ballsy. They take chances, and trust that the universe will catch them when they fall. They pack light, because they trust that they will be able to find any resources they need along the way, and because they haven't yet learned to be bogged down by possessions.

If the Fool shows up in a challenging or cautionary position in a spread, I always remind myself to look before I leap. There are times when jumping into things without taking precautions can be dangerous, or create a lot of extra work. The older I get, the more cautious I am, but I still always appreciate the reminder to take an extra moment to assess the situation.

Sometimes, the Tarot slings me a card that is very literal. I have often drawn the Fool before embarking on a hiking trip, and once drew it during a reading I was doing for my dad at the top of Angel's Landing in Zion National Park. We were sitting on a small island of rock surrounded on all sides by a sheer thousand-foot drop, and to get back down we had to traverse a spine that was a mere three feet wide with the drop pressing in from both sides.

“Don't fall off the cliff,” I told him.

Putting the Pieces Together

At fourteen years old, I barely had my feet under me. My anxiety had only been under control for a few short years, and I was still learning how to be independent. I had no idea if I would be able to make it through an entire month so far from home, but I took the leap with a running start. And in doing so, I cracked open a part of myself that had been waiting to emerge—the travel lover, the independent woman, the adventurer.

There was one night when I got so homesick that I called my parents. That call must have been incredibly expensive, but I needed to hear their voices, and my host family were more than happy to accommodate me. I remember crying, feeling so panicked and afraid, like I was in over my head. That was the moment when the Fool hit the ground below the cliff and got the wind knocked out of them. In my case, I was able to stand up, dust myself off, and carry on after that moment of “oh shit!” And ultimately, my time in Japan was some of the happiest of my life up to that point. More importantly, that adventure set a precedent for me. I knew that I was capable of living rather than just surviving, and I didn't have to restrict my travel dreams in order to manage my anxiety.

Working with the Fool

When the Fool shows up, take a moment to check in with yourself. How do you feel about this card, based on what you know about it? How do you feel about the art you're looking at? Does your gut feeling suggest that you're supposed to be embodying the Fool or taking the Fool as a warning in this situation?

Most importantly, remember that it doesn't have to be one or the other. You can take the relevant attributes and leave the ones that would hinder you. Maybe you need to channel the Fool's adventurous spirit but steer clear of their naiveté. Maybe you need to look before you leap and remember to pack a little lighter as you prepare for a new venture. The Tarot is malleable, and you have the ability to fit it to your life. Just make sure you're being honest and open with yourself as you work with this card—that's the key to gaining insight.

Pamela Colman Smith's “The Fool”

Rider-Waite-Smith, 1909 (Public Domain)